Logic Bombs
by tallshadow72
Summary: So many stupid moments could have been prevented if someone had injected an ounce of logic into the situation. A collection of one-shots where various characters do exactly that.
1. The Poisoned Chalice

**A/N: ****Hello everyone! I'm writing for the Merlin fandom again! A few notes before we begin:**

**First of all, each of these one-shots is unrelated. They do not share continuity with each other.**

**Second, I have no plans to continue any of these. If anyone wants to use one as a starting point for a longer fic, feel free. Just drop me a line, because I'd love to read it.**

**Third, this anthology is not a general fix-it for all canonical moments of stupidity. I had a formula that I followed, and I am not taking requests.**

**Fourth, I don't own Merlin. Now on with the fic!**

* * *

Uther turned and held the poisoned chalice out to Merlin. "_He'll_ drink it."

Merlin's friends all gasped in horror. Arthur spoke up, giving voice to his objection. "But if it _is_ poisoned, he'll die!"

"Then we'll know he was telling the truth," Uther replied, unconcerned.

"Yes, and he will have _saved my life_," Arthur pointed out. "The last time he did that, you said we owed him a debt that must be repaid. Is this repayment? Is this how Camelot rewards loyalty? Father, if you force Merlin to drink that wine, you show the people that loyalty is punishable by death!"

"The wine is _not poisoned_!" Bayard cut in.

"Perhaps not," Arthur acknowledged. "But even if it is not poisoned, I believe that Merlin truly believes it is. We are ordering him—a mere serving boy not even raised in this kingdom—to risk his life to prove that he has indeed saved mine. Father, if this is the message we send, then what do you expect to happen the next time there is a plot against our lives? What citizen would dare come forward?"

Uther gave his son a shrewd look. "Very well. Bayard will test the wine." He turned to the foreign king. "And if it is safe, then you have my apologies, and you can do with Merlin as you will."

"Very well," Bayard agreed, glaring at Merlin. He took the goblet and drank, never taking his eyes off the servant. Merlin glared right back. Bayard waited for a few moments, broke into a smug smile, then began choking and coughing. Moments later, he collapsed. Knights from both kingdoms drew their swords.

"It _is_ poisoned," Uther breathed. "Guards, seize them!"

The Mercian entourage was vastly outnumbered, and the Camelot soldiers subdued them in a matter of minutes. Uther ordered them all imprisoned in the dungeons, including an unconscious and convulsing Bayard.

Nimueh slipped out a side door, frowning. She hadn't counted on the Betrayer's son having such a wise head on his shoulders. Certainly he hadn't gotten that from his father. Perhaps there was merit in letting the prince live to succeed the tyrant king…


	2. The Gates of Avalon

Merlin and Gaius watched the door close behind Morgana. "She must never find out the truth," Gaius stated.

"Why not?" Merlin demanded. "She had a premonition that helped save Arthur's life."

"And it could've cost her her own," Gaius retorted. "If Uther ever found out, things would never be the same again. It must remain a secret."

Merlin stared incredulously at his guardian. "Hold on. You won't tell _Morgana_ because you don't want _Uther_ to find out? That makes no sense at all! They're completely separate people, and I doubt Morgana will be stupid enough to tell Uther. In fact, she's more likely to tell him about her dreams if she _doesn't_ know they're magic, because then she won't know she shouldn't!"

Gaius stood frozen, his hand halfway to the potion he'd been brewing. "You know, I never thought of it like that."

Merlin snorted. "Obviously. If you won't tell her, then I will."

* * *

Five minutes later, Morgana answered a knock on her door and found Merlin outside. "May I come in?" he asked. "There's something very important I need to tell you."

"Of course," Morgana replied, slightly confused. She stood aside to let him into the room. "What's this about?"

Merlin cast a wary glance around the room. "Where's Gwen?"

"Helping her father with some errands, why?"

"Because this is a _private_ conversation," Merlin said seriously. "I'm here to tell you what _really_ happened with Sophia."

Morgana stiffened. "_Did_ she try to drown Arthur?"

"Yes. She did. And thanks to your dream, Gaius and I had the warning we needed to save him."

Morgana sat down on her bed, too overwhelmed to stay standing. "So my dream _did_ tell the future."

Merlin sat next to her. "Yes. I think you're a Seer, Morgana—born with the ability to tell the future. It's a kind of magic, but it's not evil, I promise."

"So I'm not going mad?" Morgana asked, raw hope in her voice.

"No. You're not. You have a gift. I realize it's hard for you—you're Uther's ward, you know his hatred of magic better than anyone—but you don't have to be afraid of this. You can use it for good."

Morgana broke into a smile. "Thank you, Merlin. For years, I thought I was imagining things. You've no idea what a relief it is to hear someone tell me I'm not."

Merlin smiled back at her. "You're welcome, Morgana."

On impulse, Morgana leaned forward and hugged a very surprised Merlin. Then something occurred to her, and she pulled back. "Hang on…how do _you_ know so much about Seers?"

Merlin hesitated. If she knew Gaius had been hiding the truth all these years, she would be angry, and what purpose would that really serve? "I'm not from Camelot, remember? I've heard things that no one would dare mention inside Uther's borders."

Morgana nodded, accepting his answer. "Thank you for telling me, Merlin. _Thank you._"


	3. The Beginning of the End

Merlin stood frozen in shock. When he finally spoke, it was in a voice barely louder than a whisper. "You're telling me that little boy is going to kill Arthur?"

If the dragon had eyebrows, he would have raised them. "It seems that is up to you."

Merlin shook his head. "No! You can't know that for certain!"

"You have it in your power to prevent a great evil."

"But if it's possible to prevent the boy from killing Arthur, then clearly the future isn't set in stone! And if he can die without killing Arthur, then surely he can _live_ without killing Arthur!" Merlin took a deep breath. "If my destiny involves letting children die—letting _magical_ children die—then I want no part of it. You told me Arthur would be a _better_ king—and he is! He's agreed to help break the boy out of the dungeons, even though it means defying his father and saving the life of a known druid. He has _proven_ that he will be a great king, and that's worth far more than any vague talk of destiny. You may have set me on this path, but it is _Arthur_ that I now answer to. I no longer require your advice." Merlin turned to leave.

"Merlin," the dragon cried angrily. "You will regret this!"

Merlin looked over his shoulder. "No, I don't think I will."

* * *

When Arthur and the druid boy reached the end of the tunnel, they found that Merlin had already removed the grate. "Good of you to be on time…for once," Arthur remarked.

Merlin did not reply, his eyes on the druid. The boy was beaming in relief and gratitude. How on earth could the dragon think this child was a threat?

_Good-bye, Emrys,_ the boy said silently. _I know that some day, we will meet again._

_I look forward to that day,_ Merlin replied.

* * *

**A/N: I will not be doing The Nightmare Begins, since both ideas I can think of would basically be rehashes of either this or The Gates of Avalon.**


	4. Beauty and the Beast Part II

"Merlin will have the antidote," Gaius said reassuringly. "Once I have administered the poison…er, the _potion_, he'll have half an hour to get it to you."

"Half an hour to _get it to me_?" Arthur repeated in disbelief. "And is there some reason he can't bring it here _now_, before I drink _poison_ in the first place?"

"Well, we left it on the fire," Merlin explained. "It should be done by the time I get back there."

"By the time you get back there. You're going to your chambers and back, to get the antidote that is necessary to stop me from _actually_ dying, while the guards have orders to kill you on sight." Arthur rubbed his forehead. "Gaius, _you_ go get the antidote right now, and I am not drinking the poison until I know the antidote is in this room."

"But I must take the news of your untimely death to your father," Gaius objected. "Merlin will have to administer the antidote, and he can't be here before the enchantment is broken."

Arthur made an effort not to roll his eyes. "Merlin can hide under the bed. Apparently, he's good at that." He glared pointedly at his servant.

"Yeah, okay, I suppose that _is_ a better plan," Merlin conceded.

"Good, so we're all agreed," Arthur stated. He sat down in a chair to wait.

* * *

A little more than half an hour later, Gaius returned with the antidote. Arthur all but leapt out of his chair. "Gaius, you do realize that if I had drunk the poison, I would be _dead_ by now?"

Gaius bowed his head. "I apologize, Sire. I had to avoid Jonas along the way."

"Jonas or not, I would still be dead." Arthur turned to his servant. "Now, take the antidote and get out of sight."

"Yes, Sire," Merlin replied, looking slightly abashed. He took the antidote and hid under the bed once again.

Arthur sighed and uncorked the poison. "Well, here goes then. To Camelot." He lifted the vial to his lips and drank. The poison tasted disgusting, but otherwise he felt no ill effects. Moments later, he collapsed.


	5. The Sins of the Father

"You don't know anything about Morgause!" Merlin protested, hoping to make Arthur see sense. "You don't know what she's going to ask you to do! We don't even know where we're going, we're following a horse!"

"Morgause said she knew my mother," Arthur said curtly, checking his horse's tack.

"Really?" Merlin said skeptically. "She doesn't look much older than you. Even if she's telling the truth, it's unlikely she'd remember your mother very _well_. And if she _is_ telling the truth, then she must have lived in Camelot once, so how come no one recognized her?"

Arthur stood silently staring at his horse, trying to come up with a counterargument. Eventually, he sagged in defeat. "My father never talks about my mother. I…I was hoping that for once, someone could tell me about her."

"I'm sorry," Merlin said quietly. "I feel the same way about my father. But I don't think Morgause is your answer."

* * *

"And for that, I will grant you one wish," Morgause stated. "Tell me what it is that your heart most desires."

"I thank you for the kind offer, but I must return home," Arthur replied. "Everything that I desire is back in Camelot."

"Everything?" Morgause repeated skeptically. "What about your mother? Surely you would like to know more about her, perhaps even see her?"

Arthur froze. "See her?"

Morgause took a step forward. "I could summon her spirit. You could meet her."

Arthur swallowed, obviously tempted. Then he shook his head. "Thank you, but no. I hope you will not take offense when I say this, but I know almost nothing of you and your motives. How could I be sure that you have truly summoned my mother's spirit, and not an illusion designed to manipulate me?"

Morgause's smile suddenly became very forced. "I understand. I hope, then, that we part on good terms. My offer will always remain open."

Arthur nodded. "Of course. Perhaps, if we one day come to know each other better, I will reconsider. But for now, I bid you farewell."


	6. The Darkest Hour Part II

"You don't have to sacrifice yourself," Merlin stated.

Arthur shook his head. "I have to save my people."

"Think it through," Merlin urged. "What happens when you're gone? Right now, _you_ are all that stands between Morgana and the throne of Camelot. If you do this, what's to stop her swooping in and seizing the throne while the kingdom recovers? Anyone can lay down their life to seal the tear, but only _you_ can protect your kingdom afterwards."

"I can't order anyone else to die for me," Arthur protested.

"You don't have to," Merlin countered. "I'm _offering_."

"Merlin, you're a _servant_. Out of all the people in this room, you're the only one who _hasn't_ pledged to lay down your life for Camelot."

"What is the life of a servant, compared to that of a prince or even a knight?" Merlin retorted. Then he faltered, swallowing as he spotted the hole in his own logic. If _he_ died, who would protect the kingdom from magical threats?

Brushing aside the dark thoughts, Merlin steeled himself to speak again. "Arthur, I know you don't want anyone to die for you. That's part of what makes you such a great leader—you don't treat your subjects as expendable, and you would never ask anyone to take on a risk you're not willing to face yourself. But the fact remains that your life is worth more than everyone else's. You have to _continue_ to be a great leader. Your kingdom doesn't just need you _today_, it needs you for many years to come." Merlin took a deep breath. "You have to live to become king."

Arthur sighed. "Never before have these words pained me as greatly as they do tonight, but you have a point. I would be remiss in my duties if I laid down my life when there was another option. But I am _not_ letting you sacrifice yourself. That is not _your_ duty. I'll speak to the knights in the morning."

* * *

Once they had packed up their camp, Arthur called the knights to attention. "There is something you all should know. When we reach the Isle of the Blessed, one of us must lay down his life to seal the tear. I will not order any of you to do this. I will not think any less of you if you do not volunteer. If none of you comes forward, I am willing to lay down my own life—"

Lancelot interrupted him. "Sire, we would all be remiss in our duties if we permitted you to do that. I will lay down my life to seal the tear."

"Such a burden should not be yours," Leon objected. "I have served the longest. This duty should be mine."

"No," Percival argued. "You have made many friends over the years, you would be greatly missed. I am newest to Camelot, this duty should be mine."

"You know, my banishment was never formally rescinded," Gwaine stated. "Technically, I should be executed for having returned to Camelot. The burden ought to be mine."

Elyan shook his head. "Your banishment was rescinded when you were knighted. You are guilty of nothing worse than overindulging at the tavern. I, on the other hand, once abandoned my sister. I should be the one to lay down my life, as penance."

Everyone fell silent and looked around at each other, unsure how to settle the debate. After nearly a minute, Gwaine had an idea. "Well, it seems we all have our own arguments. How about we draw lots?"

The other knights agreed to the idea, and Merlin went to fetch five small twigs. When he returned, he held them all in his fist, and each knight drew a twig. They looked and saw that Percival had drawn the short stick.

"The burden is mine," Percival said solemnly. "It has been an honor to know you all."

"We thank you for your sacrifice, Sir Percival," Arthur replied, his voice unusually choked with emotion. "We will ensure that your deed is never forgotten."

* * *

**A/N: I used a random number generator to select the unlucky knight; nothing against Percival.**

**I had ideas for The Wicked Day and A Servant of Two Masters, but I couldn't quite make either idea work.**


	7. His Father's Son

"You've no idea what it is to make these decisions," Arthur said somewhat harshly. "Decisions that will shape the future of this land. So please, stick to what you _do_ know."

The king stood up to leave, but Merlin called after him. "_Arthur!_ One question. One question, and then I promise I'll leave you in peace."

"Fine," Arthur sighed. "What is it?"

"If your positions were reversed—if Caerleon had captured your father, and then executed him for refusing to sign a humiliating treaty—would you 'respect his strength' and refrain from further aggression?"

Arthur did not respond, his face slack as he pondered Merlin's words. Merlin left the king to his thoughts, knowing he had made his point.

* * *

Sir Leon opened the scroll so that Caerleon could read it. Arthur stood by and watched patiently. "I think you'll find the treaty is more than fair," he said calmly.

"You would give up Evorwick?" Caerleon asked skeptically.

"In the interest of peace, yes, I would. There has been enough bloodshed."

Caerleon stared at Arthur through narrowed eyes, seemingly searching for some kind of trick. He found none, and he took the quill offered by Percival. "There is something about you, Arthur Pendragon. Something that gives me hope for us all. If peace is all that you seek, then I will share your vision."

* * *

Once Caerleon and the other prisoners had been released, Agravaine spoke in a low voice to Arthur. "What did you think you were doing? He'll attack as soon as your guard is down. I told you, you must show _strength_."

"Killing him would not have been a show of strength, Uncle," Arthur replied evenly. "It would have been _provocation_. I seek to repel my enemies, not to engage in protracted wars that cost hundreds of lives on both sides."

"I hope you know what you're doing," Agravaine muttered. Curse the boy, he _did_ know what he was doing.


	8. Lancelot du Lac

"I must make Arthur see that," Merlin said, half to himself. "If he knew that Lancelot was a shade…"

"It wouldn't change what Gwen has done," Gaius said grimly. "It's the betrayal that matters to the king, Merlin. Telling him of Lancelot's true nature won't change that. It's Gwen who must pay the price."

Merlin shook his head. "This isn't just about Gwen. Lancelot was the most noble knight I ever knew, and now everyone thinks he's an adulterer. Even if we can't overturn Gwen's exile, we can clear Lancelot's name. I refuse to let him be remembered for…_this_."

"Very well," Gaius relented. "Let us speak to the king."

* * *

They found Arthur in the throne room, watching as servants took down the wedding decorations. "Sire," Gaius said quietly. "There's something you should know."

"What is it?" Arthur asked tonelessly.

"Lancelot was not himself. The man you knew died on the Isle of the Blessed. The prisoner locked in your dungeon is nothing but a shade, conjured by Morgana and compliant to her every command."

"A shade," Arthur repeated, sounding torn between anger and despair. "Guinevere—she—with a _shade_?"

Gaius bowed his head. "I am not here to excuse her actions, Sire. But I don't believe she knew he was a shade."

"The _real_ Lancelot would never have willingly come between you and Gwen," Merlin added. "That's why he left us after Hengist's castle."

"A shade," Arthur repeated again, now sounding thoroughly lost. "I have a shade in my dungeon. What—what am I supposed to do with a shade?"

At that moment, Agravaine approached with a pair of guards. "Sire. There's something in the dungeons that you should see."

* * *

**A/N: And that's all for now. I might add to this fic later, but I don't currently plan to. And I'm not even going to touch season 5.**


End file.
